Fwoo, writing on the internet is hard. I missed another day of content challenge. Amy is trouncing me with the alphabet. So far, I have managed to sneer at the real estate section of the Times, as is my weekend custom, and I also ate Belgian waffles. Yesterday was more involved, but too exhausting to [...]
Ah, Friday. I don’t have to do any work tomorrow. Except for oh crap. Crap. I have to go to a birthday party, which means I will wrap up some item I find in the back of the closet. Here, have one shoe. You’ll love it. It makes you look like you have more legs. [...]
I totally blew off Content Challenge yesterday. I just somehow skipped Thursday. I woke up, and it was Friday. Who knew? OK, that is lie. Actually, I got quick-onset obesity, and I couldn’t get off the couch. That is also sort of a lie, but far closer to the truth. Oh, as if you did [...]
Mr. H made the fatal mistake of allowing a checkout clerk into our lives. The insolent whelp commented eagerly on our selection of a pre-made pot pie, and Mr. H allowed that it did, in fact, look good. This led to a tiresome diatribe on the type of pot pie made by the clerk’s mother, [...]
I had something to say, O Best Beloved, but I forgot. Surely the proper procedure is to stop typing, but when I get a notion to type, I can’t help myself. Idle hands take up the devil’s work. It’s either this or knitting the scarf I just can’t finish. I feel like Christo whenever I [...]
I’ve had lines from Mozart’s requiem knocking around in my head for the last few days, all sung jovially in the voice of my father. Confutatis maledictis? A mere sunny walk in the park, that man would have us believe. This morning Salon featured a review of a new book about Mozart and mentioned it [...]
Sometimes you have good intentions of writing something really funny and relevant, you know, for the first time in your entire life, but it just doesn’t happen. You go to Content Challenge with the army you have, and sometimes that army is in a really bad mood and doesn’t want to make fajitas for dinner. [...]
Was it wise to start Content Challenge right before a weekend? No, says Zellweger. Oh no you di’n’t. Thanks to everyone who’s been clicking on ads. I’d click for you, you bastards. I also click on that dancing monkey to see if I can hit it with a banana. No rilly, so far I’ve been [...]
I think I’ll make January into another Content Challenge. Way to start a week into the month! I’m an army of one, unless someone else wants to get in on this. I remain mildly disturbed yet titillated by all the ads for that new faux snuff film, Hostel. (Nasty stills, if you are so inclined [...]
Saab call Hulk to say 43 other mutants get new windshield ahead of Hulk. Hulk say “why I pay payment then?” Saab say “ooga booga boo. Thank you for calling. Expect a Customer Satisfaction Survey in the mail in a few days. We depend on your valuable feedback.” Never buy Saab. Hulk think Hulk learned [...]
