Anthropological findings based on the scrawling on the used boxes the moving company dropped off for us to fill: * People with mudrooms also name their children Aidan and Ava * People named Pete have enough “nic-nacs” to fill a large box * People with children named Aidan and Ava are also heavy drinkers, because [...]
Mr. H is going to be late tonight! I said “Ok, as long as you aren’t dating the toothless girl.” This is a joke. The toothless girl is already busy dating the baby daddy of a relative. He can stay away as long as he wants, toothless girl or not. I’m still mad about his [...]
Don’t start reading this until Thursday. It’s your own fault if you have nothing new to read on Thursday because you read this today. It was extra, extra foolish to start a Content Challenge in a month when I have to move. I’ll say that much. Saab called to say they have found me a [...]
Unsourced gossip: apparently Massachusetts is trying to strengthen seatbelt laws to make being unbuckled a stoppable offense. There is outcry that this will lead to racial profiling, and then some people just don’t like being told what to do. Well, move to New Hampshire and pay higher property taxes. There are no races in New [...]
Today is the 33rd anniversary of Roe v. Wade. The parasite has learned to roll over, which feels rather odd. My mother always stood in the wings during high school and college hissing “You know I’ll always pay for an abortion, right?!” Now she’s inventing excuses to fly up and rub my belly. I should [...]
Germ warfare continues at our half-packed hovel. Yesterday we managed to pack two whole boxes between coughing fits. Then we took a break to eat whatever was in the freezer and watch a movie featuring attractive people and improbable gunplay. Glamour, glamour everywhere. One church billboard has updated ahead of schedule. It reads “When doing [...]
Internet pets, I have such poor stress management skills these days. No wine + no pills + not even freaking Nyquil make Hulk ill-equipped to handle paperwork or daily upset and challenge. How dare someone want me to do work? How dare my insurance agent be out of the office? How dare my accountant send [...]
There are two churchs down the road that out-sloganeer each other each week. The one closest to the house says something like “Let your inner good show on the outside.” Of course I think of how the entrails of some of the Habsburg emperors were buried outside of their bodies. Or good old Saint Erasmus. [...]
I do not like living up to the Vomitola name, I’ve decided. Whoever is holding the voodoo doll this week decided to add some actual vomitola to my bird flu. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of your eyeballs shooting out of your nose at the same time as your stomach lining. That’s how I [...]
I can’t write content today because I came down with the bird flu overnight. I asked Mr. H to write my content, and he helpfully dictated “Wah, wah, wah, I’m sick, wah wah.” That’s about right, but I’m divorcing him anyway. So here I wallow, watching terrible TV and trying to take advantage of my [...]
