Mr. H insisted on dragging me off to Antarctica or Canada or Maine or wherever the hell we went. We went on a boat. There was weather on this boat. I am making a face about being on the boat. A puss. The paparazzi imortalized this moment several times over. I share it with you [...]
Eddie Albert died! I don’t know if it is possible for me to ever enjoy a TV show as much as I enjoy Green Acres. Perhaps you enjoy it too. If not, I don’t ever wish to speak with you again. Get bent. Classic theme song (with pictures!) French version (pictures again!) Punk version Rap [...]
Oh, Internet. You are looking sallow today. Go outside! There is a patch of blue sky. But you care not for blue sky. You wish to remain adrift on your own personal Raft of the Medusa. Young people today. You never finish anything you start. Uh huh, I am talking to you. Remember when you [...]
What’s up, Retardo Montalban? Yeah, you like that one? I thought of it in the drive through at Dunkin’ Donuts. Sometimes I call the cat that, so you are not even worthy of an original insult. In addition to my laundry and Zellweger duties, sometimes I like to take the car in for regularly scheduled [...]
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Did you know there are calories in food? I just found out about this. I am going to lodge a complaint with the maitre d’! Don’t worry, this personal homepage is still about Renee Zellweger. I just thought I’d mix it up with a Nicole. I got a million more Zellwegers. Hey, [...]
Renee Zellweger attempts to blend in with her environment. Renee doesn’t know that the shark in the next panel (not pictured) can totally see her. I have to look away now. This personal internet homepage on the internet is now about two things: Renee Zellweger and laundry. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Why am [...]
Picture Renee Zellweger making a face as if she were smelling something really pungent and terrible. Share:
I recall that I threatened to tell a story about a crackhead and a toothless alcoholic, so here we go. Put on your damn water wings, and keep your hands inside the log flume. You repulse me. What are you, Renee Zellweger? I digress. Someone we know had a little on-again, off-again relationship with crack. [...]
I officially gots nothing. Mr. H said “well, don’t post until you have something.” But that defeats the entire purpose of the internet! My language and smartsing skills have painfully deteriorated. Know what’s in my head? A pastiche of OMG OMG, look at that dog, somebody feed me. Do I feel like a fraud when [...]
While the following may have nothing to do with anal sex, consider it painful and unexpected, in the spirit of David Hager. Mr. H and I went for a walk t’other day, and we ended up close to a Dunkin’ Donuts. Since I can never pass up corn syrup solids, I jabbed him in the [...]
