I have been working very hard in the manner of Jane, Get me off this crazy thing. The subjects for the portraits I have been comissioned to do showed up at my apartment on Friday afternoon. And I Morrisseyed day and night and finished the two pictures on Saturday. Which is like some kind of [...]
Some blatant propaganda: Are you registered to vote? It may not be too late. TV Station Reports that Bush Has Been Elected President, via an unnamed friend who refuses to confront his obesity. Talking heads, scary because it’s true. Via another unnamed friend who hates work more than I do. I particularly like the part [...]
I made it alive to Berlin, despite Northwestern Airlines’ steadfast efforts to kill me. They offered a tray full of dumpster trailings for my dinner, and a thimble for my drink. This shallow potable must have been meant for the infant three rows back, who squalled interminably without his mother’s little helper. I long for [...]
If it’s Wednesday, it must be Morrissey. Did you see those debates last night? Morrissey. Some people mistake Dick Cheney’s specious gyrations for actual intelligence. I suppose he is intelligent, in that evil-living-in-a-hollowed-out-volcano way. Until the past few weeks, I was under the impression that debates involved answering a question and proving why one’s answer [...]
(N.B.: this review of Vomitola’s attendance at last night’s Morrissey show is a joint effort. Lambchop begins, and Licketysplit answers in turn, to form a vibrant tapestry of nonsense.) “Morrissey!” glittered red bulbed letters ten feet high, spread the width of the stage. Helen and I were there, wielding our bicycle chains. Sadly, our level-headed [...]
Well it was a glittery two weeks of vacation in 1982. I was there for the unveiling of Diet Coke! What I never realized at the time is how much the Japanese loved Joanie Loves Chachi. Then I found out that in Japanese, “chachi” means penis. Joanie really does love Chachi. My alma mater, Yale, [...]
There was a great hubbub on the airwaves last night, and we at Vomitola feel it is only fitting to comment on the news of the day. However, Lambchop is still relaxing in 1982, and I am rather agitated because my cleaning ladies are late. So, momentito (I am practicing my Spanish to better yell [...]
by Thelma Haney Well, folks, I am very happy to report to you after the first of our Great Debates. I hung Old Glory out on my front porch, and I made lots of sandwiches with American cheese. But let me tell you it sure don’t make it easier for the undecided voter. I admit [...]
by Melvin, a beagle The toiling masses with their burdens and effluvia need not decide my personal liberties. Making mistakes and learning from one’s decisions is only natural for humanity, but the sad fact is that we are beleagured by sub-humans. Their hollow cries for vengeance jar my ear, just as a wine that has [...]
