I had been saving that subject line in case Bush won next week, but after my little whoopsie-daisy in the time machine the other day, I am pretty convinced he will not. I was just telling my sister the Moose that I should have taken a picture of myself holding next week’s newspaper, but since [...]
Wow, that was a hell of a ride. Yesterday was certainly the most memorable November Tuesday of MY young, glamorous life. John Kerry’s stunning upset over George W. Bush had me up until the wee hours, biting my nails at first until Florida and Michigan and Pennsylvania came in blue. My jaw hung open when [...]
En Afrique j’avais en effet trouvé un genre suffisamment épouvantable de solitude mais l’isolement de ce tas américain de fourmi était plus se brisant. (In Africa I had indeed found a sufficiently frightful kind of loneliness but the isolation of this American ant heap was even more shattering.) Share:
Well, at last the flaming bricks of poo have done sailing through my window. It is probably a wise policy to keep company with those who basically like and respect you. I have freely dispensed this advice to others, and now I should heed it myself. There must be people out there with Standards! The [...]
It seems that I am the only person this week who has not talked about me on the Internet. Yes, the Internet has decided I am evil. I just want to thank everyone for having taken the time out of what must be very hectic schedules to weigh in with their opinions on the subject [...]
Autumn brings dismal things. Hence, a new layout. I call this one “Young Poisoner.” Lambchop calls it “Some like it hot.” Share:
I have spent this morning frantically paging my ethicist, my analyst, and my ghostwriter, but they are all getting herbal wraps together. My personal chef is off today, and I had to make my own breakfast (I had a popsicle). What manner of torment does the Lord plan for me next? You see, I am [...]
Today we reach a milestone in the Vomitorium: Our 500th post. Even Seinfeld didn’t make it to 500 episodes! It is only fitting, that as a blog about nothing, we go the distance. This one’s for you, Larry David. Looking back on the past year and a half or so, we are humbled. All the [...]
I have returned from Berlin, and there stood Helen behind the velvet rope at the airport, holding up a sign that said “Morrissey!” It’s a good thing she was there as a witness, because this trawl through the airport has me not only convinced that ugly people have lives, and problems, and pay car insurance, [...]
My friends, I am a hateful American. I’ve got rage in my heart, even supplanting the usual lust. Last night I sat around with Lambchop and Midsentence and Mr. H, and we tried to sloganeer something in witty opposition to the slew of yellow ribbons floating around on cars around these parts. If by some [...]
