The other day I was reminded that it’s nigh on to time for my annual wedding. Those of you who’ve followed this site for a while may remember that I spent last summer adrift on my personal Raft of the Medusa, agonizing over napkin folds and ankle fat. And let’s not forget being tormented by [...]
Les abats des efforts échoués me déplacent à la nausée. Je tremble de peur que vous commenciez à exécuter. (The offal of failed endeavors moves me to nausea. I tremble lest you begin performing.) Share:
Je domine l’univers, divin et terrible, enthousiaste et faible. (I bestride the universe, godlike and terrible, ecstatic and weak.) Share:
Some recent search terms: paula abdul’s bruises putains monkey face bad taste photo olan mills cher’s dog green tea anal leakage gumjobs married horse sexy horse horse sexy horse monster horse botox heather morgan painting cowgirl pictures of spider bites evil phones i wish i had an evil twin lyrics There you have it. A [...]
This is the Vomitola wedding gift to the Gummi and her lady. Congratulations! Too bad I had to totally photoshop this cake topper. Maybe I should start mass producing them, there is sure to be a demand now that people see the possibilities of cakes bedecked with lesbian rodents. Had I had more time, I [...]
I may be lousy at romance, I may not be able to keep a hamster alive, but my pal Clammy sticks by me. It’s because She’s always right, and I am infinitely quotable!! So during that horribly pedestrian performance of The Furtive Masturbator, I stood up, and read this to my best friend: I wish [...]
Friday night’s Boston Common “theater in the park” production of The Furtive Masturbator brought new meaning to the term “ham fisted.” The audience barely noticed as the protagonist, played by a previously unknown Latin actor, entered from stage right. The audience went so far as to continue conversation loudly even after the performance began, but [...]
Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between Tonight Lambchop and I are going to loiter around the Dog Field. That’s the part of Boston Common along Beacon Street where people take their dogs to exercise as they hit on each other. It’s usually muddy and somewhat filled with feces. That sounded [...]
Say “I love you” often You know, I had originally written something about Pizza Night and how totally great it is, but upon subtle reflection, Pizza Night is no People Being Beheaded on TV. When Rednecks Explode on FOX is close. I am making my contribution to John Kerry’s campaign right now. It’s only fitting [...]
Share with Friends I am fond of pointing out the beauties that I encounter in my daily bicycle ride to work. Birds nesting on tree-lined Comm. Ave., pretty girls in summery skirts, a tiny man pouring a bucket of greasy entrails into a gutter in chinatown, with a brown handrolled cigarette dangling wetly from his [...]
