Wave the incense and wooden crosses! Hurl a dead cat over your left shoulder! Poor Lickety has the Plague. She has swollen nodes and blackened gills. She is feverish and her lungs are covered in pustules. Her lips are cracked and blasted as she draws in choking final breaths. But she is most pleased to [...]
So I am into medical accessories these days. My newest painting contains what looks like a Liv Tyler fairy on her way to be martyred in a back brace. Which is not a bad idea, really. Anyway, kiddies, your humble servant Lambchop does love realism and is taking a break from the studio hunched over [...]
You’re all in luck, I am pretty freaking incoherent today. A heady blend of dayquil and giant starbucks latte is coursing through my veins. My eyes are glassy, I can barely hear a damn thing save a dull roaring, which could be my monitor or possibly the voices screwing with me. It would be easy [...]
No, as benign and Narnian as Canada may be, you are not the first one who wants to live there. Who would have thought? I did not see the State of the Monkeyshines Address, as it aired here at the hour when all good Germans are out drinking. My evening was informed at the cabaret [...]
I got take out sushi from Shino Express on Newbury today. On the wall there is a painting of a silhouette of a woman, sort of a teal color, looking very much like a Duran Duran album cover. Her lips are bright pink, and she’s hosting a hefty piece of tekka on her chopsticks. And [...]
So what if you have to arrange for hundreds of people to have an irksome time, all the while dressed like a cake decoration? Check dignity at the door and force all of your acquaintance to form a Conga line! Anyway, you will be so dizzy and pitter patter with loveliciousness, that you won’t notice [...]
So we long ago decided that I am usually right, but Lambchop is far more quotable. Hang on to your knickers, nelly, this guy is a regular Bartlett’s! I am loving his reason for why no one needs to drive a Humvee: “you’re a dentist, not the right leg of voltron!” aughh. xxoo Share:
Ok, this is not a typical rant, but I need to vent. I’m planning a motherfucking wedding, and I’m awash in a bilious sea of taffeta and shrimp puffs. $120 per person to feed Uncle Burt, Aunt Henrietta, and Big Fat Cousin Susie and her own unruly brood? I haven’t seen these people since New [...]
This is what my friend had to say after a rousing round of Pop You in the Pooper- “HOLY JESUS CHRIST MOTHERFUCKING COWSHIT” that pretty much sums it up from my end. ha ha. end. after my near brush with greatness, the world seems so grey and lifeless. oh wait, i live in berlin and [...]
No, I’m not going to talk about that stupid Osbournes Pepsi commercial… Instead I want to share the latest in gay porn star country music. [Via Faustus, who is always an enchanting read, and Aaron, who is smarter than me and reads things.] I have decided that I want to hire Jeff Stryker to sing [...]
